| A Space Oddity |
[19 Feb 2005|11:08pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 melancholy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Interpol |
] |
Traveling so fast through space.
The colors streak past my face.
I am all alone in my spaceship.
My body floats forever in a bottomless pit.
Tell everyone that I miss them.
My deepest love is what I send.
I'm not scared of this journey.
I'm not afraid of what I'm learning.
Everything, anything could go wrong.
Keep it together, I've got to stay strong.
I stare out at all the stars and moons.
They remind me how much I love you.
This could be it, you'll never see me again.
Just know, you were my last thoughts in the end.
Traveling so fast through space,
The speed makes my heart race.
All alone, there is nothing I can do.
As the colors streak past my face, I'm in love with you.
Tell everyone I miss them.
My deepest love is what I send.
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| Waiting For You |
[11 Feb 2005|06:23pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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drained |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Secret Machines |
] |
I don't know what to do. I'm just here waiting for you. Thinking about all the things you put me through. I'm hoping that you'll love me too.I failed you as a lover, as a friend. I never thought this is how it would end. Your broken heart, I could not mend. I'm sorry, I was worried about the parts of me that I had to defend. But now it's over, you're gone. I guess I just waited to long. I can still hear your sweet song. In the end, you were right and I was wrong. Now I'm here all alone in the cold. Time passes slowly, but I feel so old. You loved me once, I was told. But your heart is closed, and my soul was sold. I don't know what you do. I still love you, through and through. I'm hoping that you'll love me too. I'm just here waiting for you.
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| Out Of This Hole |
[07 Feb 2005|07:04pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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determined |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Kings Of Leon |
] |
I reached out to grab my soul,
and I fell through this black hole.
Everything is going so fast.
Theres no way I'll ever last.
I've got nothing to hold on to.
Not like I used to.
I always had someone like you,
to help me get through.
In this hole, alone I stay.
In the dark, im afraid.
Too much bull shit coming my way.
You know I'm not okay.
Lies, and secret eyes pricing around me.
Wanting to know, to breathe, to live on everything.
Don't come to me, you'll never have me under control.
God damnit, I've got to get out of this hole.
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| Don't wake me up, I've got to be movin' on. |
[27 May 2004|10:48pm] |
Don't wake me up tomorrow
I'll be gone in the morning sun
Don't let my absence fill you with sorrow.
I'll be thinking of you, hun.
It's time to move on to better place.
It's time to put on a new face.
I promise to write to you everyday.
I promise to remember you in every way.
Where I'm going, I don't know.
Anywhere where I'll be welcomed.
Somewhere where my past won't show.
Please, don't worry over what I've done.
You said I needed new friends.
I left mine for you, and you left yours for me.
You said we would be together till the end.
I'm sorry but that just isn't me,
I've got to be movin' on baby.
Maybe in some other life we will meet,
And be the friendly strangers we have become.
Maybe we'll help eachother in defeat,
And then you and I will be the only ones.
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| All I Can Do |
[24 May 2004|03:40pm] |
I can't tell you that the world
Will never end.
I can't tell you that its you
That I'll defend.
I can't face the day without
You my friend.
I can't fell the things that
I can't pretend.
You're the one that gotta away
That I could'nt chase.
You're the one who always
had a beautiful face.
You're the one who left me with
such an empty space.
You're the one who's kiss
I can still taste.
What do I do now without you here?
What do I do when loosing you is what I fear?
What do I I say when you bring me to tears?
What do I feel whenever you're near?
All I can do is watch you remain,
the happiest girl to this day.
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| Don't Say A Word |
[19 May 2004|10:10pm] |
You used to be my friend.
Lovers to the bitter end.
You left out in the cold.
No reasons, nothing told.
No one should ever tell me anything.
Because I'm really just nothing.
Don't say a word.
I'm not important for the things you heard.
Leave me for another boy.
Play your games, I'm your toy.
You deceived my eyes.
I'm a loser, full of lies.
As the days go by,
Each day closer to the day I die.
How much time do I have to waste?
How many more girls do I have to chase?
Before I can find that one true love,
But fuck me, in the end
I'm just never good enough.
So Don't say a word.
I'm not important for the things you heard.
You left me out in the cold.
No reasons, nothing told.
These games, these girls, I'm getting too old.
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| invisible Man |
[16 May 2004|10:07pm] |
I'm an invisible man
I'm something that I don't even understand.
You don't see me, or hear me.
To you I'm absolutely nothing.
I was'nt the best I could have been.
There was nothing I could pretend.
But you liked me anyway.
I don't know why you stayed.
But when you did leave,
You left nothing here for me.
I missed you so much,
I had lost your gentle touch.
How could we honestly,
Been anything at all?
I could'nt give what you need,
And its not your fault.
We were doomed from the start.
I gave you my heart,
but you wanted much more.
Something that I could'nt afford.
And that's when you ran away.
But I still love you, to this day.
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| This Place |
[10 May 2004|09:24pm] |
I wish I could leave this place.
To fill no void, to empty my space.
To start over with a new face.
I'm sorry for being such a waste.
Seeing you makes me sad.
I think of all the things we had.
You and I back then, we were glad.
I'm sorry for making things so bad.
I wish I could explain what went wrong.
Why you and I did'nt last so long.
I was weak, and you were strong.
I'm sorry that I don't belong.
So just who the hell am I?
Sometimes I wish I could die.
But there is no reason why.
With you there are only lies.
I'm sorry I tried.
I never meant to hurt anyone.
No one cares, and now I'm shunned.
The friends I have, are none.
This place, These people, I'm done.
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| Something New |
[01 May 2004|07:38pm] |
Originally Wrote: 5/12/03
You are something new
Full of life, always true.
What is it, that I see in you?
What is it, that I must do?
To hold your hand
In the depths of my heart.
To find the fire
To guild the way to the far off land.
The only women and man we will be.
I woke up today, I realized
Ive always wanted you.
That, maybe you are not so new.
Trust me now, we can do all the things we want to.
Just give us a chance, you will understand,
That its the plain,
That I'm the only man.. for you.
Things are complicated,
But don't wait or
The feelings we have
will surely be faded.
By the growth of time,
by the growth of the things we once hated.
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| Earth’s True Beauty |
[27 Apr 2004|07:00am] |
For Sarah, (Because she asked for a poem like this...)
My job in this world is to find all its beauty.
Like your face when it hits the sun’s light
In the early morning.
Like the flowers brushing up against my legs,
Never making me feel lonely.
Like the cool air on a hot summer’s night,
That just makes you alright.
Like when the waters of the beach wash up ashore,
With all its might.
Like the wet sand that bends beneath my toes,
that’s so comfortably light.
Like a big white cloud on a sunny day,
Like the rain drops that don’t seem to go away.
My job in this world is to find all its beauty.
Maybe I should stop looking…
Because I found you,
Earth’s true beauty.
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| Tired Of This Game |
[17 Apr 2004|10:28am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 rejuvenated |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Ima Robot |
] |
Original Wrote: 4/24/03
You put your faith in me
But I have no responsibility
I’m just not ready.
I only want nothing.
I’m tired of playing this game.
Everything we did, it’s just to lame.
Now things have changed.
Nothing is the same.
You wanted me to be something I’m not.
I hated it, and all the things you sought.
All the things you bought,
Everything you fought,
I don’t want to learn, from what you’ve taught.
Just leave me alone.
Like you did when I was young.
No one was home.
I still remember the songs I sung.
Nothing to give, nothing I have not shown.
I’m tired, Just let me retire.
So you can put out that fire.
You wont let me be the things I desire.
So now I will dream an endless sleep,
About those who I had admired.
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| The Coldness |
[11 Apr 2004|09:40pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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cold |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Radiohead |
] |
Originally Wrote: 4/11/03
The coldness in my eyes,
Won’t let me see all your lies.
I am not the man, I am.
I do not have any plans.
I put my hand to my chest,
To put my heart to the test.
Nothing there, not a beat.
Because I have no heart,
All that is there is deceit.
I walked out side, to feel the air.
But it was black, and filled with fear.
As I tried to hold back the tears,
I turned away I had nothing to say.
The lives I missed today,
Everyone just died right away.
I look out to see my fate.
Everything is just filled with hate.
I feel lonely, and cold.
And much, much too old.
Nothing new is here.
As I watch everyone disappear.
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| A Beautiful Waste |
[09 Apr 2004|11:09am] |
This girl’s face,
What a beautiful waste.
She makes you feel all fine.
Like you’re the one for her.
But really you’re number 143, and in the back of the line.
She says she loves you all the time.
It’s so crazy.
She is so beautiful and you are so ugly.
Just the thought of you together should be a crime.
How does she do this to you?
She puts her hand inside, and feels you.
She rips out your heart and lets it bleed through
The memories you once cherished of her, the girl you thought you knew.
She made you look like a fool.
You were just her fucking tool.
And now what are you supposed to do?
Everything you once knew, none of it was true.
And when it comes down to it, you loved her.
What did she want from you, your wealth?
All she saw in you was nothing but an empty space.
And all you saw in her, was yourself.
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| For Dead |
[05 Apr 2004|06:06pm] |
Stab me in the neck,
For there was no sex.
Burn me alive,
With no chance to survive.
Gouge out my eyes,
And tell no more lies.
Hang me from a tree,
Because I made you believe.
Poison my drink,
Just don't let me think.
Suffocate me, when I'm asleep,
I was just a fucking creep.
And push me over that cliff,
I want to be cold and stiff.
Put a bullet in my head,
Please just leave me for dead.
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| This Lonely Sunday |
[04 Apr 2004|01:04pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
lonely |
] |
I woke up today and I felt more alone than ever.
Since when have I needed the word of another person to get me through the day,
to try to ease my pain? I have always tried to be independent, to survive on my own.
But today, on this lonely Sunday, I long for someone to come.
I lie naked on this bed, because no one is here to tell me other wise.
I am here. All alone in this house that I have known for so long.
Why have I become so dependent on friendship, companionship, and love?
Sometimes I wish I didn’t have to feel, so there would be no pain,
but then again there would be no happiness either. I wish you were here.
So I didn’t have to feel this way, today on this lonely Sunday.
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| If I died today |
[02 Apr 2004|11:40pm] |
Originally Wrote: 4/9/03
If I died today,
Help me find away to let my
Mind speak the words
I could not say.
If I died today,
I will find a home, to let
My memories fade, to let
My name not be put to shame.
If I died today,
I will become someone new
Someone more like you.
Thoughts more valued, whether not true.
If I died today,
Help me stay away
From all the messes I made.
Let me sink into the shadows,
Help me find shade.
If I died today,
Tell me If I was wrong,
But don't stay too long.
Because while I was signing this song,
I left here, but I was already gone.
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| Hold My Hand. |
[27 Mar 2004|10:33pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
hopeful |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The Beatles |
] |
Hold my hand.
As we gaze upon this beautiful land.
Walk with me by the trees.
As I open up my heart with your keys.
Help me find a way
To say the things I could never say.
There’s something beautiful about you.
Something new, pure and true.
I want to be with you everyday.
To hold you, if I may.
To look at you in those soft blue eyes,
You’re as deep as the water, as light as the sky.
I want to love you.
But I don’t know how to.
I’ve tried so many times, to love.
But no one is ever good enough.
One day, you and I will be together.
One kiss, our last breath forever.
Hold my hand.
You’re the only one for me, don’t you understand?
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| Back to that day. |
[20 Mar 2004|06:14pm] |
If I could go back to that day.
And tell her No.
That would be only thing I’d say.
Because she made me feel so low.
Stuck in a crazy world
Of fakes and liars,
She gave my head a whirl.
But she set my heart on fire.
I can’t stand anyone.
They’re all the god damn same.
I give up, I’m done.
I’m tired of playing this game.
She didn’t know what she was doing.
I didn’t know what I was losing.
Nothing at all was fact,
Because she went behind my back.
What the hell do I do now?
I’ve lost everything I cared about.
I’m supposed to move on somehow.
I’ve got a lot to live for, but I’ve got my doubts.
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| The Internal Struggle |
[14 Mar 2004|06:52pm] |
|
Is it always going to be this way? It’s a parlous struggle till the day you meet that one. That person, who will make everything you’ve struggled for your entire life meaningful. I need to find her. I need her more than ever. I’m tired of these games we play. I just want to find her, so I know it really is going to be ok. She’ll tell me how to love, how to feel, how to be whom I want. Waking up each morning alone, walking through the days searching, and looking back every night at how I didn’t find her, how I’m still the same, I’ve grown so tired of it all. I don’t need a wife, I don’t need sex, and all I need is a person who understands this place, who can understand me. I long for a girl like that. Someone to hold me in the dark. To find me when I’m lost. To pick up the pieces and build me again. Where can she be? Will this struggle, this journey, last a lifetime?
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| Abstract. |
[02 Mar 2004|03:30pm] |
From the darkness I came.
To feel your deepest pain.
In the shadows you hide.
But I already haunt your insides.
I just want to be sane.
But I always felt the same.
To hurt me, you try.
To hurt you, I lie.
From the sky, it rains.
To feel your deepest shame.
In the light, you die.
In the dark, I cry.
To love me, you’ll ask why?
To love you, I don’t know why.
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